Time is winding were both hiding from whatever we'll become

This is why our friendship is awesome.

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 17:06:05 GMT

Cate05: so what are your feelings on tom cruise and katie holmes getting married
Cate05: im a bored girl with smelly hair
Lilsweetie303: hahaha well i think he is too old her but they are very cute together
Lilsweetie303: they havent dated very long
Lilsweetie303: what are u feelings on the backstreet boys reuniting
Cate05: well i think they are a little old to be the backstreet boys... they are gunna sell a lot of crap just cuz its weird and people were so obsessed they might as well fall back into that for the summer... you know like a summer soundtrack
Cate05: no im just waiting for n'sync to get their act back together
Lilsweetie303: oh boy i will giz my pants when that happpens
Lilsweetie303: halllluish
Cate05: actually i think they should all come together
Cate05: backstreet plus n'sync.... become one
Lilsweetie303: when 2 become one
Lilsweetie303: oh man what about the spice girls
Lilsweetie303: wooowiie
Cate05: hahaha
Cate05: well posh spice just had a baby but she is real skinny again (I read that in your magazine)
Cate05: and baby spice really drowned in her single
Lilsweetie303: yea she is smokin
Cate05: so i think they could do it
Lilsweetie303: she died?
Lilsweetie303: where was she swimming?
Cate05: i mean posh is married to david beckham.. anything could happen
Cate05: hahaha no her single was bad.. so no one bought it
Cate05: habhahahaha
Lilsweetie303: ohh i see i see
Cate05: so i heard michael jacksons family wants to throw a party for all his lotal fans for their support... think we should hit that one up
Lilsweetie303: do you think we will get the invite?
Cate05: im not sure... i think we can just show up.. it will probably be at the neverland ranch
Lilsweetie303: should i dress up or is this a casual event?
Cate05: well i dunno.. i was thinking of dressing like a boy
Cate05: but im not sure
Lilsweetie303: a little boy maybe
Lilsweetie303: he will def let us if we do that
Cate05: ok we should plan that out later
Cate05: pick out our outfits
Lilsweetie303: we could go to baby gap!
Lilsweetie303: they have my size right
Cate05: haha oh yes they do!!
Cate05: perfect idea
Cate05: wow so ive had to watch scooby doo like 5 episodes since i came downstairs... real bad
Lilsweetie303: am i allowed to bring my horse?
Lilsweetie303: scooby doo is the shit, hes my cousin did u know that
Cate05: yes please bring your horse... haha
Cate05: mmm no i didnt.. wait the dog is.???
Lilsweetie303: yea
Lilsweetie303: second cousins
Lilsweetie303: he comes to family parties alot
Lilsweetie303: he sleeps tho so no one really talks to him
Lilsweetie303: one time we had Nickolodeon at my birthday party

Hazel Nut

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 07:21:53 GMT

This whole start to summer has been a huge blur. Full of mistakes, nights that will not be forgotten, nights I want to forget, and so many awesome times where I fucking stepped back and was like this is where I want to fucking be. But it was also full of times where I would stop and think is this who I really am? I have no idea right now and its stressing me out. I sometimes think I let myself down by not going out West for school like I had always wanted, or drifting away from going to shows because I'm with my old friends, I mean I fucking love going to shows and it makes me sad to think I havent been to one in awhile. I think I should stop seperating the girl I was Junior Yr wit the Girl i am now and just let myself be me, ignore all the rumors, all the assumptions, all the worry, all the doubt, all the double thinking and all the regrets and just fucking live....

Things to do in the next 3 weeks:

Get My Nose Pierced.

Finish off design for rest of Tattoo that will be done next Yr at Vertigo Tattoo in Oxford!

Go Downtown with my girls.

Figure out which one-The good guy vs The Chase

Hit up the Beach

Go Blonde

Hang out with my Family

Read 8 Books

And lastly- Stop missing you, not US but you as the genuine person you could be.

My Tattoo....Music....everything

Wed, 04 May 2005 00:07:24 GMT

Meaning of my Tattoo and alot of my thoughts:

*Of all the many things in my life, I feel each thing has let me down in someway, dissappointed me some way, etc. Nothing has acually made me smile, cry for the good, cry about something that def needed a few tears shed for....except music. It has been the only thing there for me, I cant even explain how much I respect songwriters, musicians ,etc because they dont realize just how much they influence their listeners. Probaly one of the best feelings in the world is waiting all day, not being able to sit still in class, because you cannot wait to get this new cd coming out. And then putting in your cd player and just smiling because its just so good, and if i must " rocking out" to the music and completely relating the lyrics to something going on in your life or just seeing what happen to this person that they wrote all this down. Besides for my family, friends and pat I have to say this is my number one love. Its such a huge part of my life, I cannot imagine driving without music, or being in my room without having it on. Its crazy how much it has gotten me through....One song or cd will always take me back to a certain time. Red Red wine and Bob marley are the songs of my childhood, Cheeseburger in Paradise is everday i ever spent with my dad by the pool when i was younger, Oasis is my brother, Madonna is my Mom, Gsaolina Mexico this year, Oh man, so many. I cannot even name how songs that take me back to memories of the last 3 years. I could never say thank you enough to PD for introducing me to so much of my favorite music now, Besides the fact his music still awes me, haha yes and it always will. This entry is so all over but I just cant explain how important music is to my life, my descions, my thoughts, my mistakes....If i could do anything in this world.....I want to show people MY music. Anyways, I guess I was thinking about how i never told anyone why i got my tattoo, and what it meant. I know without music I would be lost.
***************************************************************

Progress Report: I am missing you to death, Someone old, no one new, Feeling borrowed, Always BLUE, someone old , no one new, Always borrowed ALWAYS YOU.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I dont blame you for being you, but you cant blame me for hating it

THIS SHIT IS BANANAS

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 01:53:31 GMT

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Kaitlin Maries
Birthday:	October 30th
Birthplace:	Chi town
Current Location:	Chi town
Eye Color:	Blue
Hair Color:	Red/Blonde/Brown
Height:	5'8
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right!
Your Heritage:	Italian, Irish, Polak, and German
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Converse allstars
Your Weakness:	Attachement
Your Fears:	Death, being alone.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Spinch and a shit load of cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Make it a good one....
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	HAHA
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Did i get any texts? And why the hell am i waking up this early
Your Best Physical Feature:	eyes, haha i dontknow
Your Bedtime:	early. im a grandma
Your Most Missed Memory:	My brother
Pepsi or Coke:	water
MacDonalds or Burger King:	neither
Single or Group Dates:	single, awww
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	neither
Chocolate or Vanilla:	chocolato!
Cappuccino or Coffee:	neither
Do you Smoke:	ehhhh
Do you Swear:	haha oh shit yes
Do you Sing:	yes, love it
Do you Shower Daily:	haha are u kidding me, no!
Have you Been in Love:	Yes very much so, still am
Do you want to go to College:	Yes, Next YR Miami of Ohio bitches
Do you want to get Married:	Yes, young!
Do you belive in yourself:	no
Do you get Motion Sickness:	HAHA yea
Do you think you are Attractive:	um nahh
Are you a Health Freak:	Lately I am
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	NO, another biggest fear
Do you play an Instrument:	Guitar, hardly!
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Try yesterday
In the past month have you Smoked:	yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	umm ha
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	of course
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	ew no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	mmm yuppers!
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Yes!!! Booty contest
In the past month have you been Dumped:	nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	yes, kidding no!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	yes, lippy gloss!
Ever been Drunk:	Haha damn straight
Ever been called a Tease:	yes, aww
Ever been Beaten up:	no!
Ever Shoplifted:	Yes!
How do you want to Die:	With my family and friends around
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Fashion Retailer and Marketer so i can travel all over!
What country would you most like to Visit:	Vietnam
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Brown and Hazel!
Favourite Hair Color:	Black
Short or Long Hair:	Long
Height:	tall
Weight:	not too thick, i like em scrawny
Best Clothing Style:	whatever fits you, be unique
Number of Drugs I have taken:	1
Number of CDs I own:	probaly 100000 million
Number of Piercings:	6
Number of Tattoos:	1
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	not you
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

This is the song for my heart.

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 22:03:17 GMT

I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast
Is taking me home

I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
But you're not alone, and you're not discreet
Make sure I know who's taking you home.
 
I'm reading your note over again
And there's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it
I will love you always and forever

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone
Making out.

I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending.

I'm cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
and I am alone
In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at home

I'm missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you're making out
but as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone
Making out.

No No No

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 21:57:07 GMT

And
So
It
Begins.

Another Kiss, another lie, Oh god she has another guy. With all my heart and everything I know. I pray to god he takes this slow. Drive fast cars, and brag of my scars. Erase the past, Oh can this last? I contradict every last word I say, how many more days will I have like today. Anxiety, panic...its funny cause if you were here I would have been twice as frantic. I just know for sure that his kiss is sweet, and no matter the distance I don't want to leave. Its far, its long, its romantic....Its...Um..

*********************************************************

What you do on your own time's just fine.
My imagination's much worse, I just never want to know.
And what meant the world had folded like legs and fingers holding onto what escapes me; what he has: a better kiss that never lasts.

You said, between your smiles and regrets: "Don't say it's over."
Dead and gone.

The calm before the storm set it off, and the sun burnt out tonight.
A reception less than warm set it off, and the sun burnt out tonight.

This is me standing in the arch of the door hating that look that's on your face that says there's another fool like me. There's one born every minute. There's one born every minute.

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 01:56:08 GMT

I never thought I could love something so little so much!

Isn't that what you said, what you thought this song meant.

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 23:12:43 GMT

According to the Which Something Corporate Song Are You? Test...

My Wishes for the Night.

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 02:30:07 GMT

I wish I could listen to The Get Up Kids-Something to Write Home About
And
Not
Think
Of
That
Summer
I wish I could listen to The Postal Service
And
Not
Think
Of
LG
I wish I could Hear Acceptance
And
Not
Think
Of
Me
Cheating
WITH
YOU
I wish I could listen to The Academy Is...
And
Not
Giggle
At
Everything
You
Yelled
At
Me
For.

I wish I didn't still Miss You, I wish I didn't know I am making the right descion though.

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 21:02:04 GMT

Just got the New Academy Is... cd and it is amazing. It hasnt left the CD player all day.

Things

Are

Good

For

Once.

I knew it all along.

She said 'Alright, Alright, slow down!"
Oh no, oh no, we won't.
'Cause I regret every word that I said to ever make *him* feel
like *he* was something special, or that *he* ever really mattered.
Did *he*ever really matter?

Oh How I Dream For That California Breeze.

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 23:59:53 GMT

I'm Summer from The O.C.!!

Who are you most like on The O.C.?

Your Summer from The O.C.! Your gorgeous and fun to be around. Your somtimes Misunderstood and you've had your heart broken but in the end things will work out!

If you only understood, this is what I need.

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 19:59:59 GMT

Tell her you think shes AMAZING. Tell her why you think shes so

amazing. Play with her hair. Talk to her in movie theatres.

Snuggle, Hold her hand, and lightly KISS her. Hold her hand and walk. Hold

her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other

peoples yards and give them to her. Tell her she looks BEAUTIFUL. Introduce her

to your friends as "The most amazing girl I know''. Sit in the park and talk to her.

Take her to the library, ice skating, playgrounds, and coffee shops. Tell her

stupid jokes... Whatever it takes to make her laugh. Write poems

about her. Walk with her, even if its just around the block. Throw pebbles at

her window at night. SURPRISE HER. Do things that make her SMILE,

make her LAUGH, and make her want to KISS you right on the face. BE

SPONTANEOUS.. When she starts yelling at

you, tell her you love her. Give her back rubs. Play football

with her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her even if its

just to say hi. Call her back if she calls you. Jump on the bed with her.

Whisper in her ear. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Carve your

names into a tree. Get her mad, then KISS her. Push her

on swings. Stay up with her all night. Leave her little unexpected notes.. on

the car, or on her door, saying how much she means to you. Take her to

romantic places and lay out blankets to look at the *stars*. Make up nicknames

for each other. Show up at her work or apartment unexpectedly. Send

flowers and dorky notes that only you two understand. Teach her guitar!!!!!.

Lend her your cds. Make her cds of songs that remind you of her. Write her

letters. If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means

a 5 hour car trip. Go on a road trip even if theres no destination or you cant be

gone long. Listen to her favorite songs. When shes sad or sick,

hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not

saying anything. Buy her ice cream. Let her take all the pictures

of you SHE WANTS. Look into her eyes. Slow dance with her,

even if the music is fast. Make her a romantic dinner for special days.

Remember dates.. even ones like your first kiss or date and

surprise her on the anniversary. Kiss her in the rain. Kiss

her when she least expects it. When you fall in love with

her, TELL HER.

And if you fell out of love. Tell me.

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 07:31:16 GMT

Sometimes you just have to take a step back and say "What was I thinking all that time?"

Life does go on, and a cold bedroom isnt the start of it.

S
M
I
L
E
S

Funny how I'm nervous still, I've always been an easy kill...

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 23:40:06 GMT

I never update anymore but I have to after last night. Well I went to see Jimmy Eat World and it was one of the best expieriences I have ever gone through. I have never sat in a room and couldnt stop smiling at how amazing this band was and how lucky I was to be there and to be expierencing it. It was so amazing and definitly a night I will never forget....
I wont forget grapping Caitlins hand when they played Kill .
I won forget searching for food
I wont forget how annoying dan was
I wont forget how selfish you are
I wont forget body surfing
I wont forget smiling uncontrollably
I wont forget wanting to cry as Jimmy Atkins sang each word so beautiful.
I wont forget looking over you
I wont forget.

Tommorrow my brother and his fiance are getting married.Yeah ok its at the courthouse and only a few of us will be there but the real wedding is during the summer.They are so in love and so perfect for each other. Its gunna be amazing. It should to be exciting to have a sister!!

Everything is changing. I like it and I dont.... I have grown out of sullen, deep, deppressing stages where I hate everyone and think i am better than anyone else. I have stopped judging people and just respect them for who they are. I have stopped thinking everyone is fake and follow people. I am who I am but that doesnt me everyone else has to be that way. I have see my friends alot more...I love it. I have grown up. I am chasing after something I will never get, but its worth it. I have stopped communication with people who care only about themselves...one of them being a family member. The other is undecided. I am 18 and I love my life right now, I Love you, I love my family and new and old friends and the fact I finally feel like myself again. The last two weekends have been amazing.

I'm gunna stay 18 forever.So we can stay like this forever, and we'll never miss a party.Cause we keep them going constantly and we'll never have to listen to anyone about anything cause its all been said and its all been done...were the coolest kids and we take what we can get.

Baby is this far from real?

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 22:04:25 GMT

MMM ..... MMMMM.... Yeah Yeah Yeah
Mmmm... MMMM..... Yeah 

Baby I just don't get it 
Do you enjoy being hurt? 
I know you smelled the perfume the make-up on his shirt
You don't believe his stories You know that they're all lies
Bad as you are you stick around and I just don't know why

If I was yo man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'll be coming home (back to you)
Every night doin' you right 
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Wish for the diamonds (I have the ring)
Baby you're a star ( I just want to show you, you are) 

You should let me love you 
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection 
Make me your selection 
Show you the way love's supposed to be 
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you 

Listen
Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts 
You're a dime plus ninety - nine and it's a shame don't even know what you're worth 
Everywhere you go they stop and stare 
Cause you're bad and it shows from your head to your toes
Out of control baby you know 



You should let me love you 
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection 
Make me your selection 
Show you the way love's supposed to be 
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you 


Let me love you that's all you need baby

*************************************************************************************************</

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 06:20:12 GMT

I am 18 you mother fuckers. Love me or just leave me kisses.

I have become content with this life that I lead.

Mon, 25 Oct 2004 02:09:53 GMT

The most beautiful discovery friends can make is that they can grow seperatly without growing apart.

Today I was seperating all my pictures because I was putting them into bins. And I started off with all my ones from Grade School, haha good old STS and I missed it so much. I laughed looking at the dumb pictues of Court B and I being totally weird in her backyard ont he trampoline at 3am with Jeff,DRINKING!Oh man i was an crazy 8th grader. The I had the ones of the 11 of us going to dances and of course the many, many pictures of Steven D and I.All the pictures we both looked awkward and uncomfortable and I remeber that feeling that it was yesterday. There were so many of going to Washington DC and all the fun on the Bus putting on Lipgloss for hours with Aimee or takin pictures of my hands, I miss it so much....In grade school I wasnt as worried about every little thing, like how I looked or my weight or how many friends I lost or if it even mattered to have a boyfriend and how much fun it was just taking pictures in the middle of the night!

Then I had my pictures from early Freshman year, like that summer, and i remeber how much fun I had going to ozzis with the girls, Dowds house after homecoming, haha jordans front yard doing bad things, smoking for the 1st time! All the pictures of Jordan and I looking soo skinny and goofy but by one photo you could see how much fun we were having and it sucks cause i miss that. All the pictures of the three of us, the suprise parties that were had.The dirty things I did haha not, the fact she couldnt grind. Oh man so much.

I also had pictues of last summer when jordan and I took about million pictures at garretts and Bradys parties before school started. I miss the smiles I had in all those, the fact i had an amazing summer and also my normal hair color!! The night when someone shaaat on my driveway and then i saw him at reids and told him i would kill him. Someone throwing up at Mcdonalds and at my house and swimming after drinking and smoking int he hot tub! So many memories that are so far away now....**my fault**

Then I definity had all the B**L picutures with Dowd and my winter last year with Matzkin and Adam and so on and so on. I should not mention it but the cutest pics of Skins and i on new years and the shows, the ciggareattes, the scars, the stories, the loud music, the tears, the fact we are so much alike and I could not thank you enough for being there last winter. I love you and i am so grateful we are friends again cause you make me smile and stop the hurt!! We had our troubles but its high school who gives a shit it happens!!

Then the infamous summer with Caitlin. Oh man the Urban Outfitters trip with LA and the Jewel! All the nights just sleeping, frontiers day, closets, your birthday! Angry boyfriends, too many boys(not!) and hurting c(k)aitlins! Prank Phone calls, cigggaratte pranks,crushes and trying to find something to do!Caitlin and Kaitlin! Taking Back Sunday is summer 2004.

The last set of pictures were all the ones of Pat. From the pictues of us getting back together last summer to our first picture together to all those silly ones i have of you with my underwear on your head to you singing with no shirt. The fourth of July where I met Maria Babe, on of my best friends, to the night me and you and la and Adam went out and you wore Abercrombie to make my mom happy. I Love You babe and I dont care what people say, you've been mine for 2 and a half years and one day! Love always and forever....**Nothings gunna stop us now**

Don't be stupid -- you're my baby

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 22:22:41 GMT

Oh, how I adore you
Like no one before you
I love you just the way you are

Go DJ. Come on now DJ

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 03:33:31 GMT

So this weekend was so fun! I went to Miami with my brother and Caitlin. We stayed at a stinky dirty ol house with 4 college guys and cute lil puppy named Tyson(My New Best Friend).It was a crazy time and my favorite part was I got closer with my brother, I am finally comfortable around him and his friends so now I know I parrtay with them SOMETIMES....I really want to go to Miami cept I will need a cardiagan over my shoulders, high heels 24/7 and pearls, oh yea and better grades- Non of those will ever happen but I still want to go there.

*This Longgg ass weekend consisted of soo much shit*

Miami
-Best McDonalds Breakfast I have ever had
-New Found Glory and being drunk in the kitchen being like WTF
-Tyson the pup taking up the durty sex futon
-Hyptonic(blue vodka)
-Butter pretzels--only thing not stale
-Dancing with Nigs--"Hey DJ come on now DJ" haha
-"Your a good dancer"
-A fat girl got beaten cause he beats his mom, haha
-Passing back Cates ID so I could get in Brick Street
-Drippy shit from the celing
-Fat Jew flirting with my husband
-Doing the Black Light test on a college guys room
-Sua-Sige-- " I thought it was some college term I didnt know
-New Crush-- kidding kidding
-Lots of Sarcastic remarks
-A few stupid remarks
-Fatass, Hairy Cuban--" Dude your goodlooking you can do so much better." "What did you say?"
-Franzia--SPACK IT
-Dog piss and shit all over
-Caitlin sppackking me silly with the pillow
-Stinky frat house and flies
-Crazy lady in trench coat appearing from behind trees
-Almost got hit by a train, it was 20 ft away...

Indiana
-Me:" Are those trees seriously that tall" Brother: " Yea the trees are 7500 feet high"
-Bro(dad): " Is that cement truck driving backwards
-Mommy: "Ya know what do you just want to go home"-- mom made scene about my hair color
-Mom made 3 huge scenes
-Cate: " Kaitlin your not gunna go to class because your gunna stay outside and chase the animals"
-Cate:" You just got Schwinned"

I Love You and I missed You.

Is this how a toy feels when its batteries run dry?

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 21:29:37 GMT

On the edge of what is make belive on the road to what is real.

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 21:51:11 GMT

This is the time we are to always remeber.
This is the time I will try to forget.
A loss of words will come about my lips and I will try to pass it off as nothing.
Guilt runs through the tips of my fingers to the places I have wrongly placed myself.
Regret trembles from the tears being caught my my shivering lips as I realize I miss you.
I look as I retrace steps I have once taken, was it worth it?
I contemplate the future, will I succeed?
Lay cold under dirty sheets I remeber times that never should have happen and
feelings I never should have felt.
Your eyes caught love like my eyes catch all the wrong opionions.
Hearts beat fast as we think time can make love official.
I look in the mirror,I gaze at the red streaks blazing at me and think....How many times do I have to change before I find what makes me happy.For once I see myself getting there....-Soon-
Confusion embodies my heart and makes it ache.
I ache for that feeling that everyone around me has-Its understanding.
I want to live with no worries.
I dont want to depend on someone to be happy.
I have trust many, and been let down-Yet I forgive.Why?
I forgive because they have made me happy.
I forgive because I dont want to waste time regreting what could have been.
And I am scared of that loss.
Times will change in the months to come...
I will grow
I will leave home
I will miss everyone more than they think.
I will also like to put it on the table...I don't hate as much as everyone thinks if you really want to know why i am so bitter i belive it is because I can't understand and i am confused on thoughts, feelings,sadness, and emotions constantly trembling through my body.
Why can't it go back to way it was when I didn't know the difference.
Time can make a person grow or make a person insane.Which was it for me?
This is my life and for the first time I am going to make initiative and live it the way I should.
I am sorry:

To Jordan & Erin & Lauren & Autumn & Sorresso & Meda & Ash & Katie & Kelly& My Love Pat & My Mom & My Dad & My Brother & Skins & Adam
and I always want to say thank you for helping me to most of those named.
***********************
I will be 18 in 24 days.Time to act like it.
No longer will self destruction of myself be an option.
-KK-

Rain beats down on my windshield, as I fall down for you.

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 00:59:40 GMT

So my weekend was good and bad....

-Caught up on sleep on Friday as I slowly realized that I cannot wait to get out og high school and be in college and live in a big city and forget about all the shit at Viator and the fact that no one understands me and I have no one to completely relate to.

*Went to Columbia on Saturday to see Pat--Clark&Jake&Boats&Nicole were all there.... It was amazing!
*Everyone I met I liked.
*Had fun with P Dizzle for all of Chi Town to see.Shhh
*Haha weird drinking games with Nicole and forcing down Captain Morgan and Pepsi....Never again will I enjoy Pepsi Soda Pop....Grrr
* I am going to be more layed back and outgoing like I was last night.
*I thought Jake Died, but he didn't even remember anyway.
*Woke up at 6am feeling sick but I was aiight...shouldn't have mixed.
*Got Mickety D's at 7am with Jake&Pat-Got rid of my hangover.Woot Woot

"You smell like Morgan"

I Love You.

Wow I have No friends. Love Me?

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 00:16:45 GMT

01: what is your first memory of me:
02: how long have we been friends:
03: tell about one memory we share together:
04: describe me in four adjectives:
05: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
06: name one thing you really don't like about me:
07: name one thing you really do like about me:
08: if you could give me a gift what would it be:
09: have we ever gotten in a fight & about what:
10: have we ever hugged:
11: have we ever danced with each other:
12: have you ever seen me cry:
13: have i ever offended you:
14: what is something embarrassing that i've done:
15: what do i usually look like when you see me:
16: what do i say all the time\whats my catch phrase:
17: do you think we will be friends in 5 years:
18: do you think i am bitchy:
19: has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't:
20: what advice would you give me, in general:
21: wanna make out:
22: suggest a band / cd for me to listen to:
23: is there a song that reminds you of me:

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 22:55:41 GMT

I would never replace rain on a fall night for anything.

*I Missed You So*

Never Again will you see me sober....9/29 at 8:11 I turned into an Alcoholic

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 16:40:50 GMT

You ruined my entire life.